||[Oct. 29th, 2009|12:50 pm]
Wisdom through different eyes
Please forgive me if this entry becomes a rambling mess because I'm altogether unsure as to how to ask the questions I have. Like a few others I've spied before me I really know nothing of this brand of spiritualism, but I would very much like to learn more about it and what it could mean to and for me. I come from a region where the winters are especially frigid and, because I feel as though the cold has truly become a part of me over the years, I have a habit of taking long walks in even the unkindest temperatures. At a lull in the winter of 2008, I happened upon a mass of black feathers in the snow and, upon further inspection, I realized that it was a dead crow that had been completely lacerated and torn apart by what I can only assume was the harshness of the fading season. This scene struck me so (particularly because I would, weeks later, study a Baudelaire poem about the beauty of a carcass) that I photographed it and have never been able to forget it. As Baudelaire suggests, my fascination was borne more of admiration than horror, for the sheer rawness and honesty of the image. Thereafter, I began to notice crows everywhere around me -- solitary crows hobbling across roads, crying out from high above as I traversed my school's campus, flocks hovering above the oak trees of my home, etc. At first, I attributed this merely to a heightened awareness to the presence of the birds as opposed to an increased number of them, but now I'm not so sure. My studies have since brought me to a different continent where the winter months are not nearly as biting, but the corvids continue to pervade my consciousness, namely in the form of a hooded crow that flies across my path nearly every time I visit the the grand touristic cemeteries in my city and one faceless entity that caws outside my window every then and again. I've done some light reading on the symbolism behind single crows and groups of crows, but unfortunately, knowing a definition doesn't always guarantee an understanding. I suppose I joined this community and am posting here today with the hopes that others better-versed in this world might shed some light on or even identify the nature of my experiences, because if indeed I have some sort of spiritual connection to this animal, I want to know how to embrace and use it to its best advantage. One thing I do know for sure thanks to my reading is that such connections are always very personal, very ingrained in the events of one's life. That being said, if there are any questions about myself that I can answer so that you might answer mine, please don't hesitate to ask them. |
Thanks heartily for taking the time to read this monster of an introduction.